"ufff... i'm really sad. you wanted to meet with a friend, but he is not home... we are definitely not trying to change his feelings or somehow lighten and cheer him up. moreover, we are not trying to suggest that it's not a big deal. our child's feelings are serious, real, and we are just naming them and trying to be together as long as needed..."
i will ask what caused his sadness.
i'll ask why?
i let them cry, holding them in my arms, i stroke, i kiss, i try to reflect, to listen, i say nice things.
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i'm asking what happened, with whom there was a disagreement in the kindergarten.
i'm sorry if it's because i scolded him, i'm trying to cheer him up and then talk about why he's sad if i don't know.